There was a time in my younger days when I would talk to some of my white friends and they would say some variation of this statement: "I don't judge people on their skin color, I judge them by the way they dress." Let me share how attitudes like this affected me for much of my life.
I rarely wore t-shirts or hoodies. The only time you'd see me in sweatpants or tennis shoes was when I was on my way to engage in some strenuous physical activity. I was always very conscious of what I wore, lest I represent my fellow black and brown people in an unflattering light. There was a black girl that I went to college with, who always dressed like she was going to church: dress, stockings, jewlery--the whole nine. I never talked to her about this, but I often wondered if she was working from the same place that I was: needing to represent herself and the other members of her race in a positive way.
I remember another time in college when I was in a Sociology class and we were talking about ways that we could all reduce our consumption/ impact on the environment. Two of the suggestions were "take public transportation" and "wear secondhand clothes." I remember raising my hand and saying something like, "These wouldn't work for me because what are white people going to think if they see a black woman on the bus wearing secondhand clothes?" I think I added having two little kids with me on said bus, because I was already thinking about the future (:
black woman + old clothes + bus ≠ well meaning hippie trying to do her part to save the world.
It was like my skin was already an indicator to many people of these things that were not positive, and if I wanted to have a chance at being treated with respect, I better make a conscious effort to show why I was worthy of receiving it. This is an example of internalized racism.
It wasn't until several years later that I realized I was worthy of receiving respect because I was a human being. And that people who judged me (or anyone else for that matter,) on how they dressed were shallow and insecure. So these days, I wear the occasional hoodie. I wear my sneaks even if I'm not headed to the gym. Hell, sometimes I don't even comb my hair. Because I have learned that if someone reacts negatively to me because of these choices, the problem lies with them--not me.
I'll leave you with one of my favorite-ist movie clips of all time. And I want to ask you the question: How do you let people's potential negative assumptions about you inhibit your self-expression?
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