So, I've decided to take a hiatus of undetermined length from blogging. If you want to be kept informed of when I'm back on the scene, there are a number of options for tracking me and this blog over there to your right.

Until next time...

Courage.

Things that make you go hmm...

Why is it not okay to say that something is "the r word", but it is okay to say that something is "lame"? Perhaps because The L word was already a popular program on Showtime?

Think about it: Both words are used to mean the same thing (i.e. something sucks,) and they both reference a group of marginalized people. But one has a whole campaign around eradicating its use, while the other is still used by people on a daily basis. Wassup wit dat?

Musicality.

This week's selection for Music Mondays is Amazing by George Michael. I picked this song because 1) I love it and 2) It is the first love song written by a man for another man that I've ever heard. Which I think is pretty sad since I'm 30 ( well, 28 when the song came out.) [ETA: This is probably not the first song that was by a man to another man that I've heard--it's just the first one where the singer explicitly said the song was about another dude.] I heard George perform this song on Oprah and I went right out and bought the CD ( a marketer's dream, no?) Amazing talks about the ups and downs of George's relationship with his partner, Kenny Goss. If you would like to read along with the lyrics, you can do so here.




I think there are a lot of themes in this song that anyone in a loving relationship can relate to, like when George sings, "I think it's amazing, the way that love can set you free." Love is awesome, it truly is what makes life worth living.

So those of you out there lucky enough to be in love, give your significant other a big kiss and a hug. Not tomorrow, today. And those of you still waiting: keep the faith, it'll happen soon enough.

Follow-up Fridays

Let's get to it. Aaron had a lot to say on this post, but I want to focus on one thing in particular.

I said this:

"But black people are supposed to be the ones with all the crazy musical talent."

And Aaron said this:

That almost struck me as an odd thing to say on a blog that's all about racial dialog because it sounds like stereotyping. Granted, at times, there are grains of truth within stereotyping, but I thought we were supposed to avoid that in order to gain a better understanding of each other.

You're right Aaron, that is stereotpying. We should avoid doing that, because it inhibits our understanding of one another. When I wrote that, I was trying to use sarcasm (not very effectively,) as a way to deal with the frustration that I sometimes feel being a black person in America in general, and in particular while writing this blog. Have you ever heard that saying, "sometimes you've gotta laugh to keep from crying"? I think that is what I was struggling with when I wrote that. The fact that Rissi Palmer doesn't seem to be on track to becoming the next Taylor Swift doesn't make me want to boo-hoo, but writing about things like this, this, and this does. And the fact that they are all related in some insidious way makes me angry at times, and makes me wonder if things are ever going to change. I really hope that they do, because I think that if we could move past our pesky insecurites and fears, we've all got a lot of untapped into awesomeness at our fingertips.

This is not to say that black people are not "crazy" musically talented

I'll say it: black people are not "crazy" musically talented. I believe that there are people with talent from every race. I say here that even these so called "positive" stereotypes are not helpful. Even if we were to do a study that said black people are over-represented in the music industry, the explanation wouldn't be because of our inherent ability. Just like Minnesotans being over-represented on hockey teams is not due to some genetic Minnesotan mutation. Like you said in your comment, it can primarily be attributed to the culture. Which is exciting, because who decides what makes up the culture? We do!

Love the blog, keep up the good work!

Aaron, I am really glad that you are enjoying this blog, and even happier that you are leaving comments. I hope you'll keep doing both (:

I actually wanted to spend the majority of this installment of Follow-up Fridays talking about another comment that came earlier in the week on this post in response to another reader using the phrase "white trash"

jgalt said:
The word "white trash" is just as bad as the word "nigger". Both words are about degrading one's race and stoops to the lowest and viale elements of the human experiance. These words are filled with hate and anger and do nothing but pollute the dialoge and clogs the efforts to move forward as civil parties. I challenge you to read the post and insert the word nigger for white trash and you will see my point. The tone of your post would take a different demenor and would probly cause you to rethink your use of words. It would have been better to advance your theory in a way where name calling and ridicule is left out. Your sister's friend is exercising her god given right to live her life and pursue happiness as she sees fit. If one disagrees with it so be it, as long as she is not infringing on anothers right to pursue their happiness. Her choices would not be yours but the name calling does nothing to advance your theory on how her life is turning out. People live a wide arrange of complex and simple lives, that I believe is what makes this whole human experience so devine. Life is constantly changing and the choices we make allow us to control our destinies. The choices that one person makes my not be your but I would rather celebrate the fact that those choices are allowed to be made and not controled by an oppresive government. Words matter.

I normally go line by line on Follow-up Fridays comments, but I'm not going to do that here. Basically, I agree with everything that jgalt had to say. I used to have an entry about the phrase "white trash," but I deleted it because I felt like I wasn't accurately expressing what I wanted to about such a puzzling phrase. But I've been doing a lot of thinking, and think I have a better grasp on what I want to say and how I want to say it.

The phrase "white trash" is degrading. I don't understand describing another person in that way. Well, I do understand it in the same way I understand why anyone puts anyone else down: in a not very effective way for the insulter to feel better about him/herself. But I have always found it peculiar that many (most?) white people have no problem describing other members of their group this way. You don't really hear people of color denigrating each other with racial slurs. If they do use racial slurs, it is usually in context that is meant to have an entirely different meaning. And if they are using it to be insulting, it's pretty much guaranteed that that person is suffering from some serious internalized racism (like the black cop in Boyz in the Hood ::shudder::) So, what is the deal with "white trash"?

And then it hit me--the term "white trash" is an element of social control.

don't drive the right car? White trash.
don't wear the right kind of clothes? White trash.
don't handle conflict by pretending it doesn't exist? White trash.
don't write thank you cards in a timely manner? White trash.
don't live in the right kind of house? White trash.
don't have an acceptable family structure? White trash.
don't throw the right kind of parties? White trash.

I could go on, but you get the idea. Basically, if you're white and you do anything socially that another group of white people don't agree with, you can have this label slapped on you. Pretty effective way to keep people in line, and keep them obsessed with "keeping up appearances." It's also a good way to keep people buying -ish, since so much of what I mentioned above is about consumer goods, but that's another post for another day.

So think the next time you're contemplating using this phrase remember: no human being is trash. Trash is what you sweep into a dustpan and then put in the dumpster. Sometimes if you're feeling particularly irresponsible, you set it on fire in your backyard. You don't do that to people, even people who wear cutoff jean shorts. YKWIM?

Comments? You know what to do.

Yes we can.

It's just a video kind of week this week. My husband sent me this link. Enjoy.

Don't it make my brown eyes blue...

Allow me to take a a few minutes of your time today. These videos are pretty self-explanatory. The first one gets off to a slow start, but they are most definitely worth watching. If you've seen them before, I encourage you to watch them again--I find that I get something new with each viewing. Pay really close attention to the facial expressions of these children, and how aware of the world around them they seem at only 8 years old.



And the next day, with the roles reversed.



And before we explain this away by saying it was decades ago, let's not forget about this video I posted from the 21st century. This one is shorter, only three minutes.


Thoughts? Feelings? Comments? Questions?

I'd love to hear them.

Monday, Monday...

Do you have a case of the Mondays today? I hope not. If you do, I've got a fun song for you to listen to that might get you out of your funk.

This week's selection for our latest installment of Music Mondays is Country Girl by Rissi Palmer. I first became aware of this song when Starbucks had it featured as a Song of the week. The lyrics are pretty straightforward, but if you'd like to follow along with them, you can do so here. I am also happy to report that there is no cursing in this song, so pull your little one (or your boss,) up to the screen and you two can jam out together. As always, we'll have a little discussion at the end, so pay attention.



First off, Rissi has got Jamie Foxx beat for the "most white people in a black person's music video" award.

I chose this song today because it reminds me of a conversation that we had previously about what it means to be "a proud Southerner". Rissi appears to be singing about many/some/all of the things that we discussed in terms of what Southerners are proud of, but I'm wondering why the title of the song isn't Southern Girl ?

To all my Southerners out there, what are your thoughts about calling yourselves not proud Southerners, but instead proud country folk? It seems like this might assuage some fears of people thinking you mean "I wish the South had won the war," when you talk about being proud of being from the South. But at the same time, being willing to give up the Southerner label would just mean you were giving it over to the racists, instead of fighting for it. That's like letting the terrorists win. It's just all so complicated...

I want to get sidetracked for a second and say that "country people" do not have exclusive claim to being polite or raising well-behaved kids. I'm not from the South and I'd like to think my "home trainin'" is quite good, tyvm. But I guess that's why she says "Don't need no kin from West Virginia to have it in ya" (Sidenote within a sidenote: I actually do have kin from West Virginia--Beckley represent!) She says in the song "it's a state of mind no matter where you're from" which means that we can all go around calling ourselves country girls if we want to.

Back to all the white people in the video: I wrote a post last year about why you don't see more white people backing up black people in music videos and I would think that this video proves my theory--it's all about the street cred.

I did some research on Wikipedia and found out that before this song peaked at #54 on the country charts, another black woman hadn't charted with a country song since 1987. That's a long time, people. White people have been on the rap and r&b charts more often than once every 20 years--what's up with that?

Rissi says in her wikipedia article, that she was offered a record deal with Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis but turned it down, because they were trying to morph her sound into something less country sounding. I also noticed that she has a new single out right now, and it's a cover of an R&B song by Chris Brown.

So her album came out in 2007. To my country music listening readers, have you ever heard this song before? I've never heard it (or anything about Rissi Palmer) other than the Song of the Week from Starbucks. I get that it is hard for any new artist to make it big in the music industry, but I am guessing that Ms. Palmer has a unique set of challenges that her white up and coming counterparts don't. And in the course of writing this post, I have been thinking about how black artists seem to be pigeonholed into certain genres, while white artists are found in pretty much every section of the record store. But black people are supposed to be the ones with all the crazy musical talent. That doesn't make any sense.

I'm gonna stop it here. As always, I welcome your comments.

Follow-up Fridays

I've been MIA for the last couple of days. I've been pondering life's great questions. And napping.

But now I am BIA, and it is time for this week's installment of Follow up Fridays. This week's comment comes from my white friend Cathy. Cathy left a few comments (which is awesome,) We're going to highlight two.

These two came from this week's installment of Music Mondays.

Anyway, I think the Jackson reference says it's not just about race... It's about class too. Not very post-colonial... Or maybe it is. Though I suspect Jackson would agree with that, so maybe not!

And then later...

Ok, now I've had a chance to listen to this week's song (and a bit of the one you wanted to compare it to.)

Here's my question back to you. (Aren't the best questions answered with more questions?) I feel like you've got this unspoken agenda lingering. The question I sense just by the choice of songs and some of your comments is this. "What makes life so terrible for these people (the characters in the songs--whoever that is)? Who are we to blame for this injustice?"

I feel like you're looking for a label to put on it (thus my post earlier about what I think the Jackson reference was about). I guess I see it as a bit of everything--race, gender, class. All the biggies that get their own discipline. My question, though, is does it matter what we call it? MUST we call it something other than a vicious cycle? Must we label it to find solutions? Does this create more problems and conflicting agendas?

I guess the other unspoken question I sense is "what's the way out?" To that I have no answer. The teacher in me says education, but the realist in me knows that in America not everybody has a chance to pull themselves up by their bootstraps and it's so much more complicated than such a simplistic idea.

I grew up with a lot of kids who live/d lives similar to the characters in those songs, and I've often wondered what made us take such different paths? Why was Angel pregnant at 13 while I ended up with an MA and full scholarships to my schools of choice? I think the biggest thing was my parents, and I don't know how to teach people to be good parents. Well, I have some ideas, but nothing foolproof :)

I've just discovered your blog, and it has reminded me of being back in all those fun humanities classes I loved so much in college--just shooting the shit about stuff that matters in the world. I'll be coming back for more! You sometimes irritate me on ****** b/c I see you out there playing devil's advocate so much and I just want to know what you REALLY think, so this has been an interesting insight into your brain.

So tell me if the unspoken questions were really hanging there or if I just projected onto you with what I've been thinking about ...

**********************
Anyway, I think the Jackson reference says it's not just about race... It's about class too. Not very post-colonial... Or maybe it is. Though I suspect Jackson would agree with that, so maybe not!

Hmm...When I heard that line, I thought that The Game was referring to the comment that Jesse Jackson made about Barack Obama talking down to black people. That comment pissed a lot of people off. So maybe it was a response to that. I have two (no, three) alternative options in my head

1) "I (The Game) have found that my life is significantly better now that I have a lot more money. I was born a poor black child in the projects, but I worked hard, had a talent, met the right people, and now I'm rich--what does it all mean?"

2) [This is still The Game talking] "Shut up, Jesse Jackson! Can't you see we're on the verge of electing a black president?!! I don't appreciate you talking sh*t about him. Clearly if we can put a black man in The Oval Office, that means we're making real strides on the issue of race. Keep your vulgar opinions to yourself."

3.) Something else I haven't thought of.

I feel like you've got this unspoken agenda lingering.

Ooh, sounds subversive. Tell me more...

The question I sense just by the choice of songs and some of your comments is this. "What makes life so terrible for these people (the characters in the songs--whoever that is)? Who are we to blame for this injustice?"

Interesting. The reason that I do Music Mondays is because I like music. My only real agenda is to get people thinking about what they've heard. Music is like art, it affects people in different ways. Ideally, I want people to share about how the music affects them, but I can tell that some of the songs like this one, or this one affect people in ways that they're not that comfortable sharing about. Which is fine--- everything in due time, right?

I feel like you're looking for a label to put on it

Well, I don't think that you can solve a problem without first defining it.

I guess I see it as a bit of everything--race, gender, class. All the biggies that get their own discipline.

I think it's probably all of these too. But I think it's interesting that classism actually doesn't get its own discipline. At least that I know of. Like, most major universities don't have a "class studies" major. I was an undergrad in Sociology and we only had one course on class, "Social Stratification". It seems like such a huge part of what is going on (just ask The Game,) but a very small part of what we actually spend our time talking about.

My question, though, is does it matter what we call it? MUST we call it something other than a vicious cycle? Must we label it to find solutions? Does this create more problems and conflicting agendas?

I don't know. Vicious cycle might work. I think we have to determine first if the cycle is in fact "vicious." That's one of my big fears. Thinking that I automatically know that it must suck to be poor (because I think it would,) and if only everyone were middle class they'd be sooo happy. I'm really wary of coming across as this person who's out to "save the poor people." That's why this blog is about models in jcrew catalogs, and getting upset at episodes of The Daily Show, and getting bad service at Ruth Chris --because that's what I know, that's how these issues affect my life.

I have ideas of how The Game and others might solve problems, but I think it would be much more important to get his ideas first about what the solutions should be, because he understands the problems a lot better than I do.


I guess the other unspoken question I sense is "what's the way out?" To that I have no answer. The teacher in me says education, but the realist in me knows that in America not everybody has a chance to pull themselves up by their bootstraps and it's so much more complicated than such a simplistic idea.

I think education is important also. I think it would be helpful if people could be guaranteed they were going to receive a very good education, regardless of the neighborhood they lived in.


I grew up with a lot of kids who live/d lives similar to the characters in those songs, and I've often wondered what made us take such different paths? Why was Angel pregnant at 13 while I ended up with an MA and full scholarships to my schools of choice? I think the biggest thing was my parents, and I don't know how to teach people to be good parents. Well, I have some ideas, but nothing foolproof :)

I think parents are important too. Maybe it's all important. Maybe none of it's important. I've been thinking a lot about parents recently, and how things would be so much better if some parents would just get their acts together. But then that always leads to visions of A Handmaid's Tale running through my head.

I've just discovered your blog

cool, make sure you tell all your friends about it (:

it has reminded me of being back in all those fun humanities classes I loved so much in college--just shooting the shit about stuff that matters in the world.

Isn't it funny? Some people think science is what really matters, some people think philosophy is what really matters, some people think machines are what really matter, and some people think all the social stuff is what really matters. I wonder if we're born that way? I'm also thinking if there wasn't someone to think that everything in life is what really mattered, our universe would be a lot more boring.

You sometimes irritate me on **** b/c I see you out there playing devil's advocate so much and I just want to know what you REALLY think

She's talking about a message board in that **** part. I'm still trying to figure out my whole public/private blog persona thing.

Cathy, I guess what I'd say here is that I bet a lot of the time you think I'm playing devil's advocate, that's not really what I'm doing. I don't think there's anything that I've written on the unnamed message board, that I don't actually believe (unless I'm utilizing the wonderful tool that is sarcasm). I'd like to think that my views are nuanced, which means they might seem contradictory at times. But I think I'd have to know more specifically what you're referring to.

So tell me if the unspoken questions were really hanging there or if I just projected onto you with what I've been thinking about

I think the questions that you posed are questions that were brought up for you as part of your unique experience, and not part of my "unspoken agenda." I'd like to think that if nothing else, my agenda has stayed pretty consistently spoken throughout this blog (:

They were very good questions, and I enjoyed thinking about them. I think that they brought up some worthwhile things for us all to ponder, and I really appreciate you taking the time to write them down.


So keep the comments coming, everyone. I'll see you all on Monday.