Serenity now!

No race and inequality talk today, just my favorite hilarious commercial of the moment...



Even though I have Tivo, I will stop fast forwarding to watch a commercial that I haven't seen. Or to watch a funny commercial again. Am I alone in this? This commercial's got lots of people of different ethnicities, tied together by their despair over buying bad games. Ok, so maybe just a little race and inequality talk...

(:

My baby, she wrote me a letter...

So as I my blogroll can attest, I am a big J. Crew fan. So much so, that I have a free jcrew.com baseball cap that I got back when 1) J. Crew sold baseball caps and 2) They were trying to entice their customers into trying out this crazy new thing called "the internet" that you could use to buy stuff.

J.crew (like most retailers,) has always left something to be desired when it came to showcasing models of color. I chalk it up to them being products of their environment ;p I have coninued to shop there because I like their clothes, and have been satisfied with the service I receive.

Contrast this to Abercombie & Fitch, a place where I stopped spending my money because I wasn't satisfied with the service that I received. Now, I know that A&F tends to give crappy service to everyone, but that seems like a pretty good reason not to spend your money there, doesn't it? I'm also too old for that place these days. Sidenote--did you know that Abercrombie and Fitch was involved in a class-action lawsuit a few years ago that they settled for $40 million dollars? Charges of racial, ethnic and gender discrimination. Sucks to be them.

Ok, back to J. Crew. I got a catalog in the mail a few weeks ago, and immediately noticed a brownish lady on the cover. As I flipped through the pages, I saw that she was on a lot of them. It was a woman named Liya Kebede, and they were partnering with her to promote her children's clothing line. I want to reinforce this kind of behavior, so I wrote them a letter. It said:


Dear Mr. Drexler,

I am writing to express my surprise and delight with my April '09 J.Crew catalog. I have been a long time fan of J.Crew clothing, wearing it since the days of the barn jackets and rollneck sweaters of the early '90's. As your company has made a transition with its designs, I am pleased to see that you are also expanding your ideas about beauty and what the "J.Crew customer" looks like. When I saw Liya Kebede so prominently featured modeling this year's spring fashions, I was excited to see a beautiful, sophisticated woman of color representing your company. As such an iconic American brand, J.Crew is in a unique position to help reshape and expand the idea of the "All-American girl" as we embark on this next decade of the 21st century. The United States is a country with a rich history that includes Americans of all shades, and it is very promising to see a major retailer acknowledging and celebrating that fact. Keep up the good work.

Sincerely-
myblackfriendsays.com

I used my name, the myblackfriendsays.com is again, for branding purposes.

There are a couple of things that I want to highlight that can help you write an effective compliment/complaint letter to a company.

1) I addressed the letter to the CEO. Now does that mean that he is definitely going to read it? No, but it shows that that's who I intended it to get to, and so the chances are greater that he will see it. Also, if they send me a response, they will have to acknowledge that Mickey is the person that I sent it to.

2.) I emphasized my long relationship with the company. Long relationship= $$. Long time customer that is happier now than she was before = more $$. And like Diddy would say, "It's all about the benjamins, baby."

3.) I made a point to tie-in what I was writing them about to their brand image. This is really important because big corporations are obsessed with their "brand image." If you can show how what they are doing is or isn't consistent with that image--it can have a big impact.

4.) I made it clear what I wanted them to do. In this case, "keep up the good work." But this step is important if you're complaining about something also. It's not effective to right a letter and say, "I'll never shop here again!" because if you do that, what is their incentive to try and satisfy you? Companies want to know what you want them to do to "make it right." If they can do that, they will. If they can't--they'll tell you what they can do.

I'll let you know how it turns out. And I want to also say that sometimes, nothing comes of writing letters. I talk in this post about a similar situation. I never heard anything back at all from this company, and as a result I don't buy their products--and I take every opportunity to encourage others to spend their money elsewhere.

It is important to note that regardless of the outcome, I am making my voice heard. And that is definitely worth something.

As always, I welcome your comments.

I love music, any kind of music...

It's Monday, which means it's Music Monday time! Remember, if you've missed any of the other Music Monday offerings, you can click the little label at the end of this post and that will bring up all the previous videos.

This weeks selection is My Life by The Game featuring Lil Wayne. As my faithful readers know, I chose another song by The Game a couple of weeks ago. I really want us to compare and contrast the two songs, so if you haven't heard the other one, or you need a refresher, you can click here.

The lyrics to my life can be found here.

And the video is below. Be ready for profanity, references to violence and drug use.



So, what do you notice?




A couple of things that I notice:

In all the lyrics that I've found on the internet they say, "I need meditation so I can leave my people." I always thought it said, "I need meditation so I can lead my people. Those two words give the line very different meanings, so I wonder which one is right.

We learn more about his father, who was apparently an IV drug user. This reminds me of the line in the other song when 50 cent says, "Daddy a'int around, prolly out commitin' felonies..."
There are still references to violence, but the context has changed.
In both songs he talks about getting the female caretakers in his life expensive cars.
There are a lot more references to white artists (Kurt Cobain, John Lennon) in this song than his previous one. This reminds me of last week's music monday selection. I wonder if this is just a trend, or something that will continue long into the future.

When he says, "F*ck Jesse Jackson, cause it a'int about race now" what do you think he means? If it's not about race now, what is it about?

I don't think I need to tell you that I want you to leave me comments, do I?
Ok, I want you to leave me comments.

Follow-up Fridays

It's Follow-up Friday time! I'm going to cover three comments today. However, Marshall--yours will not be one of them. I think soon, though (:

I want to start off by saying I am becoming borderline obsessed with comments. This blog is my baby, and I am really interested in hearing how people are responding to it. I know people are reading, and I don't want you to be afraid to type some lines and tell me what's going through your head. So even if it's something like this, from my faithful reader Dana:

Wait...what happened to Wednesday?

Write it up and send it to me. Dana, to answer your question--I didn't make a post on Wednesday. Good eye, good eye.

Moving onto a comment that I received on my last follow-up friday post from my friend, Weezermonkey. Last week, there was a comment that asked me about all the other "minorities" that have pulled themselves up by their bootstraps. I asked who the person was referring to, and then asked my Asian-American readers how they liked constantly being referred to as the "model minority." This is part of what weezermonkey had to say.

To be honest, I don't mind being referred to as a "model minority." As far as labels go, it's a pretty good one.

I want to say thanks to weezermonkey for reminding me of an important lesson. When I asked that question, I was looking for someone to say something like the following, "being called the model minority sucks, because it puts too much pressure on me, makes people assume things about me, etc. etc." That's because those are my thoughts on the subject.

But, by thinking that I could predict what someone else's thoughts on the subject would be (particularly a person of color's,) I was going against one of the main points of this whole blog: that people of color have the right (like white people,) to be seen as individuals. We are multi-dimensional and do not all think the same way. I forgot that myself for a moment, and I want to give a shout out to weezermonkey for reminding me of it.

It's important for me to acknowledge that I still fall into these patterns, and I've been studying this stuff for years. I think this shows how ingrained our conditioning around issues of race and inequality really is, and how it is up to all of us to try and stay aware and recognize when we're falling into ways of thinking that are not constructive.

You can read more about my thoughts on this subject here, here and here. I would also encourage you to check out weezermoney's fabulous blog morefunthanabarrel about her fantastical food adventures in California.

Finally, a comment from your friend and mine--Anonymous. I'm kidding, I'm pretty sure all these Anonymous' are different people. Except when they tell me they're the same. Anyhoo, Anonymous left this comment on my post sharing my experiences with my thoughts around the clothes making the (wo)man:

sorry but this is just one thing that is not about race at all. i am white and i don't dress in sweats or sneaks when i go out of the house b/c i don't like to look dumpy. i like to present myself in a certain way. am i a shallow white person b/c of that? i grew up poorer than dirt to a single mom in an all white ghetto. i have made a very good life for myself and presenting my person a certain way is about pride. i'm not saying i look down on people in hoodies and sneaks because i don't but really? because i make an effort to never dress that way myself i send some kind of bad message? i really enjoy your blog but this whole post smacks of "i have nothing else to write about today."

oh, and i wear second hand clothes all the time. hell, some of the 2nd hand stuff i have is nicer than a lot of what i buy new b/c i can buy better brands used. another false/weird perception on your part this time around, i feel.

********************************************************************
sorry but this is just one thing that is not about race at all.

Maybe not to you, but it is to me. I certainly get that people who aren't black can be concerned about wanting to consistently appear a certain way. That is part of why I asked the question at the end of the post, "How do you let people's potential negative assumptions about you inhibit your self-expression?" I knew that everyone could have some kind of answer to that, regardless of their race. That's also why I posted that Pretty Woman clip, I don't think there were any black people in that movie. The point that I was trying to make is that for me my hangups around this issue were related to my race. And it's not really your place to tell me whether or not my experience is valid. We are different people who've had different lives. Sometimes, we are going to perceive the same things differently--and that's ok. I would never want to negate the validity of your experience, and I would ask for the same respect from you.

i am white and i don't dress in sweats or sneaks when i go out of the house b/c i don't like to look dumpy.

What if you did go out of the house looking "dumpy"? Would that send some message about how people should treat you? If so, what message would that be?

i like to present myself in a certain way. am i a shallow white person b/c of that?

No, you aren't. In my original post the people that I referred to as "shallow" were the people who base the level of respect they give someone on how the person is dressed. Like the clerk in the movie. (Sidenote: I scoured youtube for the first clip where the saleswoman is all rude, to no avail.)

I would also offer to you the idea that if you are intent on never leaving the house without looking "presentable," (like I was,)
you might want to take a look at where that comes from.

i grew up poorer than dirt to a single mom in an all white ghetto.

What messages did you receive growing up about what kind of people lived in all-white ghettos? How were people in your neighborhood treated by others around them; people of different races or economic classes? How did/do you feel about the people that you lived around when you were younger?

i have made a very good life for myself and presenting my person a certain way is about pride.

I think it's great that you have made a good life for yourself, I sincerely mean that. And I definitely can relate to using my external appearance to send a message to the world about how I feel inside. I think that can be a very valuable thing.

At the same time, I think pride (at its core,) has little to nothing to do with the clothes that we wear. Pride comes from within, and it should be there if we're wearing a paper bag with sewage on it, cinched at the waist with a frayed rope belt. I mean look at this guy:



Whenever I saw him on tv, he was always dressed in some fine articles of clothing. I know a thing or two about clothes, and I can guarantee you he wasn't buying his stuff at wal-mart. Yet, he felt so empty and worthless inside that he spent decades of his life engaged in a unimaginable deception. He screwed up the lives of countless people, and is most likely going to die alone in a prison cell. Those expensive suits aren't going to be much use to him there, and the fact that he wore them didn't tell us much about what kind of person he was.

i really enjoy your blog

Glad to hear it (: I'm also glad to know that you read it somewhat regularly, I really hope that you will share your feedback about my feedback.

but this whole post smacks of "i have nothing else to write about today."

That's unfortunate that you think that, I thought my original post was actually quite good. I said before that I have a list of topics that I can write about if there's nothing current event-y that I want to discuss, this topic was on that list. But hey, you are entitled to your opinion.

oh, and i wear second hand clothes all the time. hell, some of the 2nd hand stuff i have is nicer than a lot of what i buy new b/c i can buy better brands used. another false/weird perception on your part this time around, i feel.

Yeah, that's probably true. I tend to only buy vintage t-shits at secondhand stores, but I have heard that people can get some pretty nice stuff there.

So, that's it for today. Anonymous, like I said--I'd love to hear more of your thoughts. And to all of my other readers, thanks for taking time out of your day to check out what I have to say. If you leave me comments, it will make me happy (:

I can see Russia from my house!

I've been watching Saturday Night Live for about 25 years. Yeah, since I was 5. I created a theory about the show while watching Zac Efron the other week. The theory is as follows...

If the host plays him or herself in that night's episode, that host is as not as talented an actor as someone who does not play him or herself.

I haven't seen any of the High School Musical franchise, so I am not very familiar with Zac's work. But I'd say I was pleasantly surprised by his performance. One of my favorite sketches was the one where he played Kathy Lee Gifford's son.

Contrast this with Seth Rogen. I've actually seen several of the movies that he has been in. I think it just took me awhile to figure out that he is just not that good at what he does. This was confirmed after watching him host SNL--he was just wasn't very funny.

But I noticed that he played himself, and SNL often has athletes and other non-actor types play themselves in sketches. If you think about it, they've got 90 minutes to fill. It would make sense for five or so minutes of that time to have a mediocre host play himself, because really--how hard is that to screw up?

Sidenote: There are exceptions to every rule. Neil Patrick Harris played himself, and we all know he is an acting dynamo. When is he going to get his own show? That's what I want to know.

Ok, back to Seth. Seth has a new movie out called Observe and Report . It's about a mall cop. How they got two mall cop movies out within months of each other is beyond me. I want you to watch the trailer below, and play close attention to the relationship between the main character and the blonde woman. Be warned that this is the restricted trailer, so it has bad words in it. You should also not watch it if you are under 17, unless you are being accompanied on the computer by an adult.



First off, let me say that this looks like one of the funnier movies Seth has been in. I tend to be a fan of darker comedies, and this seems to be more in that vein.

There was a fair amount of controversy though, about the scene where he is in bed with his date near the end of the trailer. What were your thoughts after watching it?

This is what I think...

Do I think this scene is supposed to be a joke? Yes.
Do I think Seth Rogen has ever date raped anyone? Probably not.
Do I think that scenes like this one, combined with other messages that we receive in popular culture contribute to a climate where some guys think it's okay to have sexual contact with semi-conscious/unconscious women? Most definitely.

I read an interview with Rogen about the scene and he said something like what "made it ok" is the part where she says, "Why are you stopping?" because that qualifies as consent. I have to say I just chuckled while writing that. I really don't think that would qualify, because we can see that this chick is totally wasted.

Should she have gotten so hammered since she knows that would make her more vulnerable? No.

But that's like seeing a drunk person passed out on the street and reaching into his jacket and stealing his wallet. Would you do that? I would hope not.

Do I think they should cut the scene from the movie?
Not if the director doesn't want to, because it's his artistic vision.

Will this scene being in the movie make me boycott it?
No, I don't think so. If there is any reason for me not to go see it, it's because of my bad history with Mr. Rogen. It's like George W. says, "Fool me twice--something or other."

But do I think that the scene is questionable enough that we should all think critically about it and what it means for our society?

You betcha.