There was a time in my combo English and Social Studies class in high school where I was talking to my friend Reagan about life. She told me that if she ever put out a compilation CD, she would call it The Best of Reagan, instead of Reagan's Greatest Hits. That way, she could put the songs she liked the most, which wouldn't necessarily be the most popular ones. I always thought that was a great idea, and so I am going to use it now. I also reserve the right use it if I put out a compilation CD of all my favorite musical performances.
So without further ado, here is the best of myblackfriendsays.com, as chosen by me.
4. Ah, the Swagger Wagon. You'll have to click in the post where it says minstrel show, if you want to know what we're all talking about. (Hint: It's something quite similar to a minstrel show.)
Now, for an important announcement. I am finished writing new posts for myblackfriendsays.com. My time here has come to its natural end. To quote Marvin from Season 5 of Big Brother, "It's been real and it's been fun, but it a'int been real fun." ;)
To be honest, I have met some great people through this blog (both in real life and just on the computer). I'm really happy for the opportunity that I gave myself to think more critically about my own views on race and inequality. And I hope that you have gotten something out of this blog over the years. If you'd like to say somewhat in touch, you can like this blog on Facebook, otherwise this is where we say our goodbyes.
If I may quote one more person. Well, he's a monster...Murray from Sesame Street...
I see that my last post has gotten a lot of pushback. That let's me know I'm onto something. ;)
I haven't been posting here, but I have been on my blog's facebook page about Michael Brown and various other -ism related things that have been happening recently.
So if you have facebook, I would encourage you to click here and "like" my page if you are interested in hearing my perspective.
[if you are new and wondering what the other things are on this list, you can click here for most of the other ones.]
Remember in my last post when I asked you what were any signals to help identify underground racists? I forgot to tell you one I've already figured out...People who say, "I hate rap music."
Let me explain...
When I was in high school, it was really popular to say "I like all kinds of music except country and rap."
Looking back on it, I'm guessing this was just a way to say "I like pop music," becauseI don't think my fellow Eagles were really that into classical, folk, latin, etc. The music that was most popular at the time was alternative, but "popular alternative" is something of an oxymoron.
Someone who says "I hate all music except rap and country" is less likely to get the side eye from me, because we all know that while black people make rap, white people make country. So they probably just hate the different sounds associated with the different musics.
But when someone says,
"I hate rap...Just rap...Rap really annoys me for some reason I just haven't been able to put my finger on yet."
What I hear is:
I hate young, urban black males and all that they stand for. It is not acceptable for me to say I hate young
black urban males and all that they stand for, but is IS acceptable for me to say I hate rap, so...I hate rap.
I'm not saying this is a conscious thought on the part of these people, or that it is even accurate. It's just my perception. Also, I realize it is a bit unfair to associate things with peoples' unconscious minds, since that is not something that can be proven or disproven in a court of law or a labratory. But don't blame me, blame Freud. Personally, I think he's onto something. And if you're white getting mad, I think this rule applies to people of color too--just put internalized in front of the word racist.
My friend Polly once said that if you say you don't like a whole genre of music, it's because you think it all sounds the same. I think she's onto something, because I don't really like Ska music for that reason (though I do have a Mighty Mighty Bosstones cd.)
But I would never say I hate Ska music. Hate is such a strong word. I know there are people who go around talking about how they hate lots of different things (not just rap,) but I think that might be a habit that is worth breaking. If you hate Cheetos, how do you feel about Hitler? It's like, words have precise meanings--use the one that best describes what you're trying to convey.
I also recognize that while I probably will never be a big ska fan, that someone who is a big ska fan hears a lot of differences between the various bands, knows there are subgenres of ska, and could probably find me some ska songs besides The Bosstones that I would like.
The same is true for rap. Rap is such a varied genre with so many different artists--it just doesn't make sense to write off the entire thing because of the (most likely) extremely limited exposure you've had to it.
There is a great website called Rap Genius, where you can find basically any rap song, read the lyrics, and then read user-submitted interpretations of the lines--just like you would analyze poetry. I would encourage you to check that site out and see what you find.
If you don't like rap that degrades women, say that. If you don't like rap that glorifies consumerism, say that. Understand that people that make that kind of rap often say that they are just telling the world about their harsh reality. Examine that idea and formulate a response. Finally, be open to the possibility that there is a jam out there that you would love...if only you heard it. Then maybe you and I can be friends.
I have literally wanted to post the video below for YEARS. But I could never find it online. Then I was in a group on facebook that deals with race, clicked 'like' on another video and then this video popped up as a suggestion. Just like this time, the Universe was working for me--you just gotta pay attention.
I saw this skit when it first appeared on Saturday Night Live. I was about 6 or 7. I probably shouldn't have been watching SNL at that age, mom. ;) . However I will say, I didn't get most of the jokes. But I do remember this skit where John Belushi held up a puppet and said, "Happy birthday, Shiela!" Does anyone else remember that?
Ok, watch the video:
Arrrrrgh, I can't get it to embed, so you're going to have to click here to watch it.
Couple things:
Did you catch the part where he says in order to become white he read Hallmark cards? I feel like that is part of the race problem that doesn't have a whole lot to do with white people. This idea that certain things (that I would consider positive,) are quintessentially white. Like, giving someone a card with a sweet sentiment is not something that a person of color should feel like they can't do if they want to maintain an authentic racial identity. Being interested in school and speaking the King's English would be two more examples. So, if there are any black people reading that put these kinds of limitations on other black people--please stop. If you don't want to stop; please tell me why in the comments so I can understand better where you're coming from.
So, I am pretty sure that this is not what happens when there are no people of color around. But you'll notice I didn't say I'm positive...cuz I'm not. Because logically, everywhere I am, a black person is--so I could always be influencing what is happening. Also, we got to where we are now by white people giving each other preferential treatment for at least 200 years--so it's not like this skit is coming completely out of nowhere.
And that's where you come in, white readers. I don't think you give each other free stuff or have parties on the bus--but how frequently do you hear racist/racish comments from other white people when there are no people of color around? What percentage of white people are actually scarily racist and just savvy enough to control themselves in public? An estimate for both of these answers is fine. Last question: any tips on spotting these people?
That's all for now. And if you're a new reader who got here after my mention on the country's best morning show--Welcome! I'm glad you're here.
And if that's not how you got here--I'm glad you're here too.
Feel free to answer the questions I posed, your reactions to the skit, or just share about anything else that's on your mind in the comments.
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To follow me on twitter (@myblackfriend) click here.
Donald Sterling. He's probably rue-ing the day he got involved with that girlfriend of his, huh?
--Once again I am not surprised. I don't know why other people are surprised. Because he owns a basketball team with black players? He's also an 80-something-year-old white man. That means it is safe to say for the first 30 plus years of his life, he probably never saw a positive portrayal of a black person doing anything. And by the time you're 30, you're pretty much an adult. Obviously, I am not excusing his behavior. There are probably 80 something year old anti-racist activists too. But my point is when it comes to race, his life got set on a certain track being a white man in America, and he didn't really have to or want to do very much to change it.
--I liked the peek into the inner workings of the sugar daddy/ sugar baby relationship. He straight up told her she could sleep with other men. Why doesn't he want her broadcasting that she sleeps with black men? Probably for the same reason that white adult film stars get paid less money when they start doing scenes with black men. Probably for the same reason that black men were lynched just on the suggestion that they slept with or raped white women. Probably for the same reason that the most pervasive stereotype related to black men is that they have large penises. Some white men have a weird sexual thing with black men. I'm not white or a man, so I don't really understand it.
--The players: SMH. Obviously, the most clear sign that they didn't agree with his remarks would have been for them not to play. They didn't do that. I would imagine that they see themselves as being between a rock and a hard place. I would also imagine that they are being pressured by other people in the organization to continue playing. But I personally don't see continuing to play as any kind of real statement, regardless of how they wear their uniforms while doing it. But I am not going to knock them for their decision, they are doing what they think is best.
--The NAACP was scheduled to give Donald Sterling a humanitarian award before this tape went public. If that doesn't tell you about the sorry state of race relations in this country, I don't know what does. I don't know the specifics of how this award came about, but I am going to guess that it had something to do with Mr. Sterling writing some checks to some organizations that the NAACP cares about.
--Sports: I don't watch sports. I don't like seeing so many black men pursue athletics as a way to success. Especially sports like football and boxing, these people are basically risking their brain health and mobility for some shiny cars and big houses.
When Shaq was on Cribs showing us his basketball court and gaigondo house, you think, "Wow Shaq is rich." Yeah, that may be true, but Shaq is selling his labor. If Shaq was injured, the checks would stop. The person who signed Shaq's checks is wealthy. That person makes money in his sleep, and lives off of money he no longer has to work for. I hope this Sterling incident is a wake up call for rabid sports fans. Think about who you're really benefiting with your money. Not to mention the time you're spending watching sports...maybe you could be doing something else? Just a suggestion.
--This incident combined with the NCAA development that student athletes can unionize makes me think that maybe something big is going to happen with sports. And since a disproportionate number of black people are involved in sports, it could have significant ramifications for the black community.
--Obviously what needs to happen here is Mr. Sterling needs to sell his team. Anything less is unacceptable. If he won't sell, the players and coaches should refuse to play and coach. I understand the games are important, but probably not as important to these men about their beliefs about racial equality and who they want to enrich with their talents.
Enough from me, what do you think? What should Sterling do? What should the fans do? What should the players do? What is the purpose of professional sports in society? Is this all just a smokescreen to deflect from the FCC's recent ruling on net neutrality? The Sterling story has been the opening story the past two days, while the FCC ruling hasn't even made my nightly news program. Weird.
Let me know your thoughts in the comments.
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You've probably already seen this, but if you haven't click below:
and then this one:
Great job, Honey Maid. Now I've got a lot of the same critiques of the first commercial as I did of the Cheerios commercial. Like, how much do you want to bet they had those paper rolling artists on standby, long before either of these went up? If you never read my Cheerios critique, click here.
But there are two things that Honey Maid did in the second commercial that Cheerios didn't. First, they gave a ratio of positive to negative comments. It is so easy to read the comment sections of blogs and think that the world is just filled with bloodthirsty, racist, homophobes. But the reality is, said comments are more likely to be written by a socially maladjusted 13-year-old than a federal judge. Not saying there aren't racist federal judges, just saying they don't spend their time writing youtube comments.
Second, and most importantly Honey Maid just basically gave a big F-you to the people that didn't agree with their point. Yes, they wrapped it in a nice little message about love and upcycling, but they doubled down on the TWO GAY DUDES CAN RAISE A BABY!! idea. Lots of people have a problem with that. However, instead of being a company that tries to be all things to all people in order to make as much money as humanly possible, Honey Maid is taking a stand.
Now, don't get me wrong--I don't have a problem with companies who want to stay out of everything because the only color they care about is green. That's called capitalism. I also don't have a problem with companies that take a stand even if it's something I don't personally agree with (See: Hobby Lobby).
What I do have a problem with is wishy washy corporations like A&E who suspend someone for a weekend until they do the calculations of all the money they're gonna lose if the whole Duck Dynasty family walks off the show, and then come up with some wack excuse about why they didn't cancel the show. See previous paragraph, if A&E had just kept their mouths shut, I could understand that. But I feel like what they did was the worst possible outcome, because it showed them to be lacking convictions while trying to appear as if they had some. Don't suspend the guy for a weekend, that's just offensive.
Got sidetracked for a bit there, forgive me.
So HoneyMaid is basically saying, You gotta problem with this?! Don't buy our cookies then!
I respect that, more than I respect the original commercial. The original commercial can be written off as a trend in multicultural advertising. The second one cannot. They burned some bridges with the follow up commercial and took a real risk.
Those of us who appreciate that should let them know by buying their products, and letting them know that we're buying (more of) their products because of this campaign.
Finally, I want to see a white family in a trailer park pitching me a product. Or anyone broke in general.* Because the whole point in advertising is to create a need. They make you think you can be like the people in the ad if you buy the product. Most of the time, the people in the ad are attractive and/or rich. In the HoneyMaid ad, they're saying buying their cookies will make you feel love. This is not true, and all savvy consumers should know that. But I want HoneyMaid (or some other corporation,) to show me that I might want to be like a white family in a trailer park, because they're happy and love each other. Show me that people that don't have a lot of money still have value and deserve to be put forth as some ideal on a tv screen. Because even more than race or sex or gender, the idea that you have to be of a certain economic class to be admired is an extremely pervasive idea in our culture.
*I know everyone that lives in a trailer park is not necessarily white nor broke. I'm just trying to make a point. If you were offended, let me know and we can talk about it.
Do you have any thoughts? If so, leave me a comment.
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Today I was reminded of something I blurted late one night about seven years ago after I had a few redbull and vodkas. I was out with my friend and we met some Jewish singles that were doing a pub crawl, and we decided to crawl with them to the last couple places they were going. That was only one of three nights that I've ever had Redbull and vodka, but I have decided that it is the best drink to have when you really want to party. You're welcome.
Anyway, I was walking with my new friends and I said, I hate going to the drycleaners!
I should mention that we were walking past a dry cleaner.
I then proceeded to explain to them that I actually hate going anywhere to purchase a good or service where the prices are not clearly posted. This is not something that I had really thought much about until I saw this Primetime Live story in high school. They had two guys white and black go different places, act and dress the same, and see what happened.
Through the magic of the internet, I was able to find the program. Feel free to watch if you want. Personally, I found it riveting:
And if you're a masochist, you can watch part II here.
If you don't have time, what you see is a whole bunch of racism. And at about 8 minutes into the first video, the black guy goes to a car dealership and is quoted a higher down payment and total cost for the exact same car from the exact same car salesman.
I can get kind of get past the other stuff, but when you start to mess with my money, I get angry. I mean seriously--DON'T MESS WITH MY MONEY!!! Unlike Big Worm, I think it's actually worse than playing with my emotions. Because I can do my own work to deal with my emotions. But money is an actual tangible, fungible, finite thing that I can use to pay off debt, save for retirement, or send my kids to college. And when your racist ass tries to make me pay $1500 more for a car...WTF? I'm going to stop, because I can feel myself getting less coherent because of my strong desire to punch that car salesman in the face.
So ever since I saw that I am very wary of doing business in places without posted prices/with negotiable prices. And today I decided to go the auto body shop to see how much it cost to fix some scrapes on my car. The guy (older white guy) was actually quite nice and gave me two quotes--one if we wanna just do a basic fix and one if we wanna go ultra with it. And the most expensive quote was actually several hundred dollars less than the quote my white husband got when he took the car to a different body shop. But because of that video, I can't help but wonder what price my husband would have been quoted if he'd brought it into that same shop.
If I may, allow me to preemptively respond to some comments from Anonymous.
That black salesmen ignored the black guy too!
I know, Anonymous. That's called internalized racism, and it sucks much like racism racism.
Women/ugly people/gay people/short people/whatever kind of other people get treated badly too!
Yes, I know--what is your point?
If you get ripped off on a car, that's your fault--it's your responsibility to be a savvy consumer.
Yeah, I can see where you're coming from with this one. At the same time, I don't want to live in a world where people are constantly trying to rip other people off, behaving illogically, and just generally being a-holes. If enough people decide that such behavior is unacceptable, it could be eliminated--or at least drastically reduced.
Wow, your blog is quite amazing! Your writing is smooth and wet. Please check out my blog [_insert hyperlink to some shady as hell website here_]
Damn you, Russian spammers! I took captchas off my blog in hopes more people would comment, and now I have to deal with getting all excited when I see I have a comment only to find this crap.
This video is really old--we have a black president now!
Both of those things are true. Readers, what do you think the outcome would be if they filmed this in 2014? I myself can't say, but if I had to guess I'd say you'd find similar results. The eternal optimist in me says perhaps the incidences of racism would be less frequent, not daily like they said in the video. But I think they would still occur, because this happened to me when Barack Obama had already been president for three years.
Stop complaining/get over it/you're being to sensitive/etc.,etc.etc.
Anonymous, 8 years in and I'm finally starting to get tired of your shit. Read this and then go away.
Ok, ok, ok, you don't have to go away...I was just letting my frustrations get the best of me. If you want to engage me in good faith, I'll continue to talk to you. Because I truly believe that we have to talk all this -ish out. Because like MLK said We must learn to live together as brothers, or perish together as fools.
I suppose a third option would be brothers who finally decide they will never be able to get along and live in different parts of what used to be the United States but became several separate countries. Said brothers don't talk on the phone, aren't Facebook friends, and never see each other--not even on holidays...I'm thinking the first option is probably better.
Okay, I'm talking to all of you again.
Did you know MLK's name at birth was actually Michael? His father changed both their names when Junior was 6, to honor the father of the Protestant Reformation, Martin Luther. I learned that when I did a report on him in 7th grade. How to stop being racist #18: Encourage your kids to do reports on black people. In my 20 years of schooling, I can't recall a white classmate ever doing a report on a black person.
So dear readers...
What was your reaction to the video?
What were those shoe salesmen thinking? Don't shoe salesmen work on commission?
Answer these questions, or write about whatever else you want in the comments.
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I think I might be onto something with these suggestions. It's funny, because the idea of making a list like this is so antithetical to what I have learned in so much of my work around diversity. But I know am tired of yelling at white people for not doing anything, and then yelling at them again when they do do some thing, because that thing wasn't the thing they were supposed to do.
It's like, the power to make white people feel bad is not the type of Black Power I am looking for, ya feel me?
All right, let's get to the new additions...
16) Make a concerted effort to say and spell people's names correctly (even the difficult ones.)
Pretty self-explanatory. This is something that will not only make you less racist, but more generally a more considerate, less self-centered person. Dale Carnegie says in his classic best seller, How to Win Friends and Influence People that a person's name is the sweetest, most important sound to them in the whole world.
It would follow then that hearing your name mispronounced, while not the worst thing in the world, is annoying. And if it happens frequently because your name is unusual, it's more annoying.
If I may go off on a tangent for a bit, this is one of the reasons I think Starbucks needs to get rid of names on cups. There was never really a problem with people taking the wrong drink before, which was the supposed reasoning behind it. Names on cups also promotes a false sense of intimacy, because before you were supposed to learn your customer's names by actually getting to know them. Finally, names on cups raises the chances with uncommon names (which is probably a disproportionate number of people of color,) will have that irritating experience of having their name mangled early in the morning before they've had their caffeine... and that's just cruel.
So when you meet someone with a name you've never heard before, work to learn it. Break it down into syllables, use visual cues to help you remember, ask them to repeat it, ask them if you said it right when you say it back, and don't ask them if you can call them some shortened or Americanized version. And if they have an extra y or an apostrophe or an umlaut, remember those too. I bet they'll appreciate it.
17) Donate to causes that advocate for groups that you have biases against.
No, I'm not talking about the KKK.
Let me give you an example from my own life: Like most people living in this society, I have a bias against people with intellectual disabilities. I don't know if it is more, less, or the same amount of bias that most people have. And you know what? It really doesn't matter. Because like I said here, using what other people do or don't do when it comes to bias can often be a hella low bar by which to judge yourself. I think it's better to go off of your own understanding of where you'd like to be in regards to racism and other -isms, and do the work necessary to get there. There is always going to be someone more closed-minded than you; that is not an excuse to get complacent.
So yeah, I have this bias. One of the things that I do counteract it is donate our uneeded clothing and household items to an organization that works with and advocates for people with intellectual disabilities. There is another organization that is closer to me. They also take donations, and they work with at-risk youth trying to get them to stay in school and learn job skills. At-risk youth learning job skills is so much more up my alley. And that's exactly why I donate to the first place.
They sell my items, and make money for programs that help the clients they serve. They also help come up with things like the r-word campaign that help educate those of us without intellectual disabilities about the things that we do without thinking (privilege!) that help make the world a worse place.
Here is a link to an article entitled, What Does Modern Prejudice Look Like?. It's a thought-provoking read, and asks "the good people" to take a look at how their actions allow institutional -isms to continue.
All right, my husband's home now and I haven't seen him all day, so I gotta go. You know I loooove your comments, so leave me one if you feel so inclined.
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I don't know about you, but I need some happy music. The mistrial in the Michael Dunn case, Juror #8, unrest in Ukraine and Syria--and lets not forget about Jonathan Ferrell and Trayvon Martin.
It's easy to feel down. So here is a song you can listen to that will help you keep on keepin' on. It's family-friendly, and if you would like to read the lyrics you can click here.
Some of my favorite lines:
I'm a gladiator like Russell Crowe
Your job is what you get paid to do, your calling's what you're made to do
Instead of talking about how stressed you are, should be talking about how blessed you are
I also like how he says, I've got faith in you, you gon' make it through--even though he has no idea who he's talking to. This reminds me of counseling, because a good therapist is going to believe in his or her client's ability to make positive change regardless of the current circumstances.
And at 3:21 when he starts talking about how to respond to racism, I noticed a lot of parallels between what he said, and what I said to that guy outside of the restaurant. I hadn't heard this song at that point, but I am glad to see overlap in the messages. It just reminds me that even people that I don't know are doing the same work that I am doing, and trying to make the world a better place. cheese. forgive me.
I liked the shoutsout to the political prisoners at the end. It's also nice to see that Troy Davis has not been forgotten.
So my friends, remember to keep moving forward. If things are bad, there is still good to be found. And you have always have power (however limited it may seem,) to make things better.
If you've got comments, you know I want to hear them! So leave me one, if you'd like.
Happy Monday (:
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Those of you that know me in real life probably know that I had a birthday recently. I'm 35 now--don't be jealous ;).
What you probably don't know, is that I witnessed an act of blatant racism at my birthday celebration, which really put a damper on the whole evening. Let me explain...
One thing I love is crab. Another thing I love is the concept of all-you-can-eat. Put those two together and you have all you can eat crab, or as I like to call it--a crabstravaganza.
Being the great guy that he is, my husband made reservations for us at a local seafood place that has all you can eat king crab legs on Thursdays. I personally wouldn't describe it as fancy, but they have tablecloths on the tables. And it's seafood for a landlocked state, so it wasn't cheap.
Anyhoo, we're there and we are enjoying ourselves talking. We had already paid the bill and were just kind of sitting there when all of a sudden we start to hear this commotion. All of a sudden, I hear someone say,
So, I turn to look and I see a youngish black man yelling. There are a few white people around him, I'm assuming trying to get him to stop. He starts to leave the restaurant and his date/girlfriend (who is white,) goes with him. I quickly got my coat and started to follow him out of the restaurant. As I get to the door, I hear someone talking on the phone saying, "He's leaving right now." I make two assumptions here: 1) That person is the manager and 2) The manager is talking to the police. I acknowledge that both of those things could be false.
So I'm trying to catch up with him and he is outside, still agitated, and now being followed by a cook at the restaurant. So I get to him and calmly say, "What happened?"
He tells us that he came in, was talking with his server and asked a question about the menu. Someone near him (he didn't know who,) said,
"Go back to the ghetto."
Yep.
Now, some of you might be wondering...Well, what did he ask the server?
To you I say, "WHAT IS A QUESTION THAT YOU COULD ASK YOUR SERVER THAT WOULD JUSTIFY SOMEONE SAYING, 'Go back to the ghetto.'"?!?
Those same some of yous may also be wondering, Well, what was he wearing?
Again, "HOW WOULD A PERSON NEED TO BE DRESSED TO JUSTIFY SOMEONE SAYING, 'Go back to the ghetto.'?!!?"
The white cook listened for awhile and then said, "Well, if that happened, I'm sorry." They shook hands and the cook went back inside.
So then he and I talked for a few minutes more. I told him that I was sorry that that happened to him, and that the person who did it was wrong. I told him that he should just keep doing the positive things that he was doing in his life. He had basically told me his whole life story in the few minutes that I was talking to him. I honestly think that what had just occurred was so jarring, that he was just still trying to comprehend what happened, so he was talking a mile a minute.
At the end of our conversation, he asked me if he could give me a hug. I was glad that he asked, because I wanted to give him one, but didn't want to offer. Then we all got in our respective cars and left.
I wish I had done two things differently:
1.) I wish I had given him a better hug, because I am an awesome hug-giver.
2.) I wish I had said, "Keep your head up." That exact phrase, because a stranger said it to me several years ago, and it had a profound impact on my life. It was random, but I guess the stars were all aligned that day or something.
My husband and I talked quite a bit about what happened, and like the title says, I did cry about it. I can already tell you that Anonymous doesn't like that, but you know what--I don't care. I am a sensitive person, and seeing people be cruel to one another makes me sad.
One of the things that we talked about was how the person that made the comment is probably feeling quite satisfied with himself, because he sees the outburst that happened as proof that his feelings were justified. Completely forgetting the fact that he is the one that started the whole pathetic scene by being a complete a-hole.
I mean, really--is it too much to ask that a person be free to go to whatever restaurant they'd like without wondering if some other random diner is going to try to insult him? I don't think so.
Then I wondered what all the other white diners did, after we left. I know other people heard what was said, how did they react?
What the f-ck did you just say!? also, You're an embarrassment to white people.
Some better ideas:
That was uncalled for. I know you think everyone agrees with you, but I don't.
From the manager: Please leave.
But who knows what happened? I don't.
I honestly believe that incidents like this are part of the reason that black people's life expectancy is 4 years shorter than white people's. Experiences like this raise your blood pressure. And even if they don't happen, wondering if they are going to happen when you're with unfamiliar people has to have an impact on your stress level.
I also thought about what allowed me to go out and talk to him, really without even thinking about it. I decided it was love.
Because it was my birthday, I had been showered with love that day from my friends and my family. People I've known since elementary school, new friends I've recently made, people I've never met except on the computer, people I only met once but thought were cool and made be my friend on Facebook--these people took time out of their day to show me that they cared about me. I was also blessed to grow up in a house where I felt valued and appreciated. I had just finished a dinner with a man that loves and respects me. All that love pushed me out the door to try and bring comfort to someone who needed it.
So, like I said in my status update the next day--try to spread love into the world. I think the guy who made the comment needed some more love in his life.Even if you're scared, just do what you know is right, and don't let fear hold you back. When you don't live your values, you let yourself down. That is worse than any likely negative repercussion you would face from speaking up.
I could say more, but I'll end it here. If you're thinking/feeling something--let me know in the comments.
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How's your 2014 been so far? Mine's been...interesting. Not bad necessarily, just interesting. But I worked out this morning, so my blood is pumping and I'm ready to write a new blog post. Sweet.
Maybe you've heard and maybe you haven't, but a white guy shot and killed another white guy recently, because the first white guy wouldn't stop texting on his phone at the movies. In Florida.
Florida, what is the deal? You have been in the news for all the wrong reasons lately. Pull yourself together, (wo)man.
Lots of thoughts about this, so let's just do it stream of consciousness style...
--If the guy who was dead was black, this would be getting a lot more news coverage. And some people would for sure be calling it a hate crime (or at the very least, racially motivated.) Which leads to the question...
--Is it possible for a white person to aggress against a black person and it not be a hate crime? How do you know when a crime has gone from just being a crime crime to a hate crime?
--Related: How come you never hear about black people committing hate crimes against white people? Is that even possible? Why or why not? One of the most common things that I see when I encounter writings of people on the internet who would describe themselves as white supremacists are these examples of crimes where white people were kidnapped and/or tortured and/or killed by black people, and the media is not covering the story and no one is calling it a hate crime.
--Statistically speaking, is it more common for a white person to be killed by a black person, or a black person to be killed by a white person? It is important to note that the probability of being killed by another person period is extremely, extremely low--I am just curious about the numbers.
--The guy who did the shooting was a retired cop. Not doing a lot to help the reputation of cops. I also heard that when they arrested him, they handcuffed him in the front, which is against protocol. I guess to make him look less like a common criminal. Again, not the best time to have your fellow cop's back. You can read more on my measured, rational ideas about the police here.
--I don't really see the point in hate crime legislation. I get it, the government is trying to send a message that -isms and -phobias are bad. They think the way to show that is to add extra time to your sentence if you do a crime because of an -ism or phobia. But the problem is this: Prisons suck, and they do very little to rehabilitate the people who go to them. So making a racist or homophobe spend more time in jail doesn't solve any problem. If anything, it creates a distraction because then politicians can say, "Hey look we care about this, as evidenced by us creating this extra punitive measure on the back end." Then, they do nothing about the front end and want us to think that's progress. But that leads to an even bigger question...
--What can they even do on the front end? People with these biases have a problem with their thinking, and it's not the government's job to be the thought police. I feel like this is an example of When you have a hammer, everything looks like a nail. The government's power comes through its ability to make laws, and at times I wonder if they think they can legislate racism out of existence. Obviously there is a lot that can be done for more justice in the court system, banking, and schooling just to name a few. But I wonder how much of this change needs to come from laws, and how much just needs to come from people who realize that we don't want to continue doing things the way we're doing them currently.
--Ok, I think that's all for now. If you have some thoughts that you'd like to share, you know I'd loove to hear them. Two "o"s. If that doesn't motivate you, I don't know what will.
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This song is for all of my black girls (and women). If you want to read the lyrics, you can click here.
Originally, I was just going to leave it that. But then I remembered this post, where I learned that it's important to explain to avoid ambiguity. And if you don't learn from your life experiences and change your behavior accordingly, what the heck are you doing with yourself?!
First, something non race-related: It's actually not a good idea to tell your children that if someone ever hurt them, that you would kill that person. Because God forbid someone was harming your children, the fear that you would go to jail for seeking revenge could actually keep your child from telling you about it. And we don't want that.
Okay, moving on...
I really like this song. It's got a great beat, and a positive, uplifting message. I hesitated a bit to post it here, because I don't want to give the impression to my white readers that being a black woman is just a giant bag of suck. I mean, the song is called Black Girl Pain for Pete's sake. But the reality is that black and brown girl's do face unique challenges that other people don't (if you need some examples, click here or here.) I'm sure this part of why Talib Kweli and Jean Grae chose to write what someone on Rap Genius called An Ode to Black Women.
I also know that some people might be put off by me saying, "This is for all of my black girls (and women)." Saying it's for one group of people implies that it's not for others. So...if you are not a black woman, but identify with any of the themes in the song--then it is for you as well.
But...why do I have to say that? Why are some people uncomfortable with hearing pro-black messages? Why are such messages sometimes perceived as Reverse Racism?
It's true, whenever you hear someone expressing a pro-white message, they usually have shaved head and a swastika and/or confederate flag on their jacket. So if pro-white is racist, then wouldn't pro-black be racist too?
No, and here's why: Being pro-black is more like being pro-Irish than it is being pro-white. When a white identity is discussed, it is usually in reference to white people being better than other people. The only people you hear talk about being proud to be white are white supremacists. But there are lots of Irish (and Italian and Polish and other,) Americans that are proud of their heritage, difficulties that they've overcome, distinct parts of their culture, etc. The reality is that white is way too big of a category for people to have legit sources of pride or connection. And it doesn't help that the whole concept of white only came to exist to justify the subjugation of people that weren't white. So it's kind of a flawed grouping to begin with. (I'm not saying white people are flawed, I'm saying the categorization of people as white has problems.)
But when you hear that someone is a proud Irish-American, people don't immediately become fearful, or think those Irish-Americans need to get over themselves or anything like that. You just think we're talking about a group that is proud of a unique part of their identity. And if you know anything about the history of white people in this country, you know that these white ethnics were pressured to give up their identities and assimilate (i.e. become more like the white immigrants from Western and Northern Europe that had arrived before them.) Many did, which is part of why you hear so many white people referring to themselves as mutts, or thinking that they don't have a distinctive culture. But some resisted, and held on to the traditions of the countries they were emigrating from. [Granted, these white ethnics don't have centuries of being enslaved and then targeted by the U.S. government for various forms of maltreatment--but other than that, it's pretty similar. :p] They held on to things that were important to them, and made this country more interesting and dynamic as a result.
So, white people, the next time you hear a black person say something pro-black, don't be scurred. Unless they're advocating physical violence towards you, I don't think you've got anything to be worried about.
And to all my black girls out there, when the world starts to get you down, remember:
Please hold your head up high
Don't be ashamed of yourself, no I
carry you forth until the day I die
belee' 'dat. (:
What do you think? Let me know by leaving me a comment.
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To follow me on twitter (@myblackfriend) click here.
Commercial time! I've been working on a post on ENDA, but it requires thinking and arguments and reasoning and whatnot, so it's been taking me awhile to get it up. But this post just requires me to be funny, which comes just about as easily as breathing ;) And now I'm cracking up, because I always crack up when I say something I think is funny.
OKAY...Watch the commercial below:
Black people in the wilderness! Woot woot! Big house, big cabin, no smooth jazz playing in the background*--This trend of people of color doing stuff that is not stereotypically associated with them might just be here to stay. I say might because it might not.
For example, I was watching this documentary about the 60's and the hippies. They were talking about how when an idea gets really big corporations co-opt it and then use it to sell their products. Like that, I'd like to teach the world to sing commercial that Coke put out. That was all about riding the wave of the various civil rights movements that were going on during that time and contorting it into an opportunity to sell product. Since we elected a black president, it is safe to say that we are looking for something different when it comes to race. Corporations are listening, and so now they're making commercials like the one above.
I am just wary because you know what happened after the 60's and 70's? The 80's. Politically it was a shift back in a lot of ways--the War on Drugs ramped up and really damaged the black community. I can't help but wonder if something similar is going to happen after Obama finishes up. Are we going to see some Reagan-esque guy get elected? The pundits are saying there's no way Republicans can ever win nationally again unless they change their strategy and reach out to groups of color, but is that really true? The Tea Party is mad as hell and not going to take it anymore. I could see one party getting complacent/cocky and another party getting fired up and organized and moving everything back a few decades. I'm not trying to say here that I think Democrat= good Republican= bad, even though it might seem like it. I'm just trying to point out the fact that these things seem to ebb and flow and I'm concerned that the move towards more multi-dimensional representations of black people might ebb again. I'm a fan of perma-flow.
In case you were wondering, I actually like camping. If by camping you mean sitting around a fire, drinking beer and looking at the stars. But if you mean not showering, walking far, and peeing on the ground, then no--I don't like camping. But I'm thinking this has more to do with my life experiences and personal preferences than being black.
So what do you think? Do you think the increased and varied exposure we're seeing of marginalized groups is here to stay? Why or why not? Feel free to talk about this or anything else in the comments.
*If you're a new reader, know that I like smooth jazz and many other things that are stereotypically associated with black people. I am not arguing that some presentations are better or worse, just advocating for a variety of representations like white people have the privilege of seeing. I would also strongly encourage you to like myblackfriendsays.com on Facebook and/or follow me on Twitter. Thank you kindly (:
In our latest installment of Some Cops Behaving Badly we have the story of Dana Holmes, a white woman that was recently arrested for DUI just outside of Chicago. I will post the video, but it's 6 minutes long. For me, that is pushing it when it comes to attention span for videos on the internet. Here is a recap of the important parts: Three cops are there, and she is being patted down by one female officer. She lifts up her foot, the way someone might when being asked to show the bottom of their foot to someone else. All of a sudden, the cops grab her and throw her into a cell. They then proceed to strip her clothes off. She just lays there in the cell face down crying. Then a few minutes later they throw in a blanket for her to cover herself with.
Feel free to watch for yourself:
[ETA: here is a link to a shorter video that actually shows her clothes being removed.]
A couple things: In the police report, the officers claimed that she "kicked" one of them. Anyone with functioning eyes can see that is not what happened. To me, it looked like she was following instructions to show them her feet and then all of a sudden they got pissed and went cray. Also, they claimed they removed her clothes because they were performing a "strip search." I'm no cop, but I've watched plenty of cop shows. That is not how you do a strip search. For one thing, when you're searching someone with no clothes on you have them bend over so you can look up their butt to make sure they haven't hidden anything there. That didn't happen.
Why?
Because they weren't strip searching her, they were taking all her clothes off because they could, and she had clearly done something that they didn't like. They were trying to humiliate her and teach her a lesson. That lesson being: Don't F with the police.
I'm guessing she got the message.
This example shows us, that we live in a nation where regardless of race, color, creed or national origin--if you give cops attitude they all can (and some will,) make your life a living nightmare.
So let me tell you what is most likely going to happen next. First, I have to point out if this video didn't exist, absolutely nothing would happen. This would be a disturbing story that Dana Holmes told her friends and family, and that would be the end of it.
But since we have moving picture proof of the encounter, here's what's going to go down: Dana Holmes is going to sue the police department, and the officers involved are going to be put on paid administrative leave while they investigate. Ms. Holmes and the police are going to reach a settlement, where she receives a lump sum cash payment. It'll be anywhere between 50,000 and 500,000 dollars, depending on how good her lawyer is. The cops may or may not be reprimanded, but most likely all the cops involved will be allowed to keep their jobs. On the off chance they do get fired, they will go to their police union and challenge their firing(s). Then they'll get re-hired once all the media attention dies down. Ms. Holmes might spend her money to buy a house, or she might blow it all on meth to deal with the PTSD she got from being treated so callously by the police. Since it's her money now, she is free to do with it what she wishes.
Here are just some of the problems I have with the likely outcome to this situation.
1) I am a bit uneasy with the idea that people that go through traumatizing things get money for it. Obviously, no one is going to turn down money. But it seems like if you were the recipient of a bunch of cash from a lawsuit like this, the money would seem like blood money. How would you enjoy it? It seems like whatever you bought with it would just be a constant reminder of your horrible ordeal.
2) Paying money as punishment for doing something wrong makes a little more sense when you are talking about suing corporations, because corporations are motivated by money. But what about when you are talking about the government? The government doesn't have a profit motive. I'm not sure what the government is supposed to be motivated by. If I had to guess, I would say something like the common good . How is it in the interest of the common good to pay one person a large sum of taxpayers' money, and let the so-called public servants that caused the money to be paid to continue to work and receive more of the taxpayers' money? It's not.
3) I am not necessarily opposed to the idea of any victim of police brutality getting money. But the problem is that when we just pay off victims, and do nothing to change the system that caused the incidents in the first place. We are just inviting more incidents to happen. A better outcome in this situation would be for Ms. Holmes to get her check (or not,) AND have all the police involved in this incident fired and banned from working in law enforcement at any point in the future. The PD where this happened could put out a strongly worded statement saying how those officers were wrong, and they have no tolerance for such behavior. They would show this by retraining their officers and continuing to fire cops that decided to engage in such behavior in the future.
If I can turn this into a follow up friday for a moment, I want to go back to the last time I wrote about an incident of some police behaving badly. Except this was an unarmed black man who got shot 10 times by a cop. Yeah, he died.
My white friend Paula (whose late father was a cop,) said this:
I can assure you that no one dislikes bad cops more than good cops do.
Well Paula, they sure have a funny way of showing it. I have never heard a cop that is currently employed by a police department speak out publicly against another cop when they do something wrong. People who know me in real life, know that I don't use absolute language often. So when I say never, I mean never...not even one time.
It would be so great if these good cops would come together and create and organization called Police Against Police Brutality. Or maybe Police for Positive Policing. I said here that I don't like it when people always define themselves as against something.
I googled the first term I mentioned, and you know what I came up with? A group called something like Black Cops Against Police Brutality. And it looked like their website hadn't been updated since 1988.
Don't get me wrong, I am happy to see such a group exists. But it doesn't surprise me that black cops are against police brutality, since black people are disproportionately the victims of police brutality. Since cops are disproportionately white, I think it would be nice to see a group that encompassed police officers of all races that were committed to ending abuses in departments across the nation.
I'm gonna wrap it up here, because I've been writing for awhile. Once again, I have to give my disclaimer that I am in no way attempting to disparage all cops. I know from personal experience that some cops are quite cool. My general impression of the number of fleeting experiences that I've had with them is that if you're neutral or nice to them, they will be neutral or nice to you.
I am talking about the minority of cops that do damage to the reputation of cops as a whole. Some other examples of positive policing that could occur would be:
--Making videotapes like the one that recorded Ms. Holmes standard in all police departments, big and small. I also think that all cops on patrol should wear cameras on their person. There should also be serious penalties for departments that "lose" footage, because that seems to be an unusually common occurrence when said footage is subpoenaed in court cases.
--Removing the Internal Affairs department and having incidents of cop misbehavior be investigated by a panel that has nothing to do with the police. It would be awesome if the panel was just made up of randomly selected residents of the area that the department served.
--Making it easier to fire bad cops. This goes for teachers too. And anyone else that is protected by a union. If you're pro-union, you should not be pro-union so incompetent people can keep their jobs. There are many benefits that unions bring about, but keeping substandard employees employed shouldn't be one of them.
So, we'll see how the situation with Dana Holmes plays out. I am interested to hear what you think about what I've written, or about any of the topics I've discussed more generally. Click below all those colorful boxes at the end of this post where it says, " _some number_ comments" and leave me a comment.
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Now, I rarely ever blog about specific things just because people ask me to. Normally, I just like to wait until I feel like if I don't write about something, I'm gonna bust.
But when my OG weezermonkey asked me on Twitter to blog about this commercial, I just knew I had to. She's been with me since (almost) the very beginning, so who am I to say no? So without further ado, check out this commercial for the Samsung Smart TV:
Shout out to Samsung for reppin' the Asian and white interracial marriages. As the Asian half of such a couple I know says, Once you go brown, you don't turn around. According to weezermonkey, half white and half Asian kids are called hapa. I think I might have known that, but I also thought it might be kind of a derogatory term. If it is--take it up with her. I also know that it is the name of my favorite sushi spot, but that's neither here nor there.
I have a lot of the same feelings that I had about the infamous interracial family Cheerios commercial. I don't want to repeat myself, so if you'd like to read my thoughts on that one, you can click here.
After I saw the Samsung commercial, a word that came to my mind to describe this family was respectable.
Now, what does it mean to be respectable? What does it mean to show someone respect? I think to respect someone can mean to look up to them as someone to emulate. But I also think you can show respect to someone that you have no desire to be like. Because you respect all people and/or try to treat all people with respect.
So like when I talked about people looking nice, it's interesting how this family of well dressed people, in a large house, that just bought a very large (and probably very expensive,) tv immediately brings up the idea that they are people that are worthy of respect, or that they most likely behave in ways that I would like to behave.
So what do you think? What do you think it means to respect someone? Do you think that everyone deserves to be treated with respect, or that everyone automatically deserves respect? How you determine who gets respect and who doesn't? What does respectful behavior look like to you? Does someone have to show you respect to get respect back?
Just for the record, I don't like it when people say that not everyone deserves respect, and I also don't like it when people say they have to get respect before they give it. To me, that is like moving towards the lowest common denominator. But if you feel differently, that's fine. We can disagree--respectfully.
I'm slightly obsessed with this song. Though technically, you can't be slightly obsessed with anything. But I've been listening to it much of the weekend on repeat, and I think you need to experience it. Make sure you actually watch the video and not just listen to the song while you do other stuff on the computer. And you should either watch it full screen, or click through to watch it on youtube to get the complete experience.
Damn. If that doesn't want to make you go have sexytime with your partner, I think you need to check your pulse. But this isn't hotttvideos.com, it's myblackfriendsays.com. This means I have to write some stuff about race and inequality. Luckily for all of us, I did notice some things. In a particular order:
--This song continues the tradition of white guys who sound black that I wrote about here. What's interesting is that Sam Smith is from England and Sam Sparro is from Australia. I wonder if there is something about those two accents that makes it easier for white people to get that kind of sound? Or maybe they're just more in touch with their soulful sides. Can you think of any white male singers from the U.S. that sound black? Jon B. is the only one that comes to mind for me.
--We've got the two chicks kissing, which is kind of a big deal. What I think is interesting is that I didn't have the same reaction to that that I probably would have 20 years ago. It's definitely the first time I've seen two people of the same sex kiss in a music video, but it wasn't shocking. I think in large part because of seeing Britney and Madonna kiss at the VMA's in 2003 and then having the news media show it repeatedly for weeks afterward. It's like when you say a word over and over and it starts to lose its meaning. You show two women kiss, and the first time it's like "Whoa!" and then the 75th time it's like "meh."
--You'll notice that they didn't show the two guys that lock eyes kissing. It's like Slow your roll, folks. The only time I've seen two guys kiss in a sexual way was Brokeback Mountain. And maybe an indie film I saw a long time ago that I can't remember the name of. Men kissing does happen in pop culture, but it's always played for laughs, like Will Ferrell and some other dude. Perhaps that will change in the future.
--I think that if they hadn't had the same sex couple featured, they would have had a couple of color. Remember the rule of threes? It's just that nowadays gay people are the we're open minded indicator. This brings up some of the issues around intersectionality that I posted about Friday on myblackfriendays.com's facebook page.
--We've got the interracial (maybe?) couple also featured. I say maybe because the woman is racially ambiguous. She looks to me like she could be half white and half black, or half white and half latina or a light-skinned black person or or any number of other combinations. What's interesting about her is that she is the most scantily clad and obviously sexual of all of the characters in the story. Reinforcing the exotic non-white temptress narrative.
--Another thing about the interracial couple: when's the last time you saw a black guy hooking up with a white woman on screen? But nowadays it is becoming increasingly common to see black and Asian women getting it on with white men. Oooooh weeee, what's up with that? what's up with that?
--Finally, if you check the youtube comments, you'll see they fall into three general categories: 1) This song is awesome 2) some positive comment about the light-eyed, blonde-ish couple in the elevator 3) some statement of disgust about the inclusion of the gay couples. So even though the second couple is supposed to be the most relateable and common, they are largely ignored and the blondies get the favor. Is that because they are in an elevator, and many people have fantasies about getting it on in an elevator? Quite possibly. But maybe it's because that couple most closely represents the white ideal.
That's all. Truly, I originally wanted to post this because I just like the song so much. But then they added the visuals, which clearly gave me a lot more to say. If you have something to say, you should leave me a comment.
First off, I can see that my last post didn't get many views (damn you, no longer existing google reader!) So if you missed that one, click here. Ok, moving on.
This is a picture that I took recently during family meal out night. Long time readers know why I took a picture of it. If you're new, you can click here or here.
Not only is she in the middle, she's dark-skinned to boot. Sweet.
We won't get into the fact that black people probably invented barbecue and that most places you go that sell barbecue (including Dickey's) are owned by white people. Sigh. We really need to step up our "opening our own businesses" game.
Ok, a little googling showed me that black people didn't invent barbecue, but we can all agree that we worked on it and worked on it for many years during slavery, and aren't reaping our share of what I am assuming is a multi-million dollar bbq industry today.
And new reader, before you think it's all our fault that we didn't start opening rib joints en masse as soon as we were freed by proclamation, click here.
Myself, I do plan on opening my own business here in a few years, a psychotherapy practice. I wrote it on this blog, so now I have to make it come true. Tell your friends.
Another day, another unarmed black man shot by the police.
I know that's not the reality, but that is certainly how it feels sometimes. I'm sure you can excuse my cynicism.
If you don't know what I am talking about, please click here. They've got a comprehensive summary of the events.
As I've said before, part of the problem when you are talking about race is that you can never really know if race was a factor in any particular incident, unless all the parties involved agree that it was. And 99 times out of 100 if there are white parties involved, they are going to say that it wasn't. Why? Maybe because if they admit it, they will get the devil's spawn label of racist.
So white people, stop lying to yourselves and others when you do something racist. And black people, stop using white people's racist behavior as an excuse to jump down their throats without offering anything constructive that might help them change. Sigh. I can tell I'm freakin' annoyed. But I'm going to press on, because I've got a lot to say about this.
In a number of ways it doesn't matter if Jonathan was white or black--he's dead. And a cop killed him. There are lots of things about this that open up the possibility that it wasn't racially motivated. It was Saturday night, it was dark, he was built like an ex-football player, he was running towards the cops, the woman who called 911 probably gave the impression that he was some sort of criminal, since she was calling 911 instead of asking him through her locked door why he was banging on it at 2:30 in the morning. And maybe the cop was new or something.
Also, I can off the top of my head recall a white guy in my city that was recently killed by the police (though he had a weapon,) a white pregnant woman that was thrown on the ground and handcuffed (though she was not visibly pregnant, and she got 250k for her ordeal.) And let's not forget about the white grandma and white college student that were tased by white cops (Don't tase me, bro!) Oh, there is an incident where a young white man with Down Syndrome was killed by police when they were trying to subdue him for sneaking into a movie that he wanted to watch a second time. That one didn't even make the news (at least not the channel I watch.)
So, just like police apparently need to learn that perhaps they should change their approach when dealing with a person with a developmental disability, perhaps they should try harder to resist the conditioning that they've gotten from The Birth of a Nation, their grandparents, and/or gangsta rap that tells them to shoot 10 times when a big black man that's just been injured in a car accident is running towards them.
And just a PSA for my readers: If you are ever walking towards the police and they tell you to stop and you don't, they are trained to shoot you--even if they believe you are unarmed. Why?
Because if they don't shoot you, you could get close enough to them to overpower them and take their gun and shoot them. Also, they are not going to shoot to wound. They are trained to aim for the largest part of your body (your chest.) And if you get shot in your chest, there is a good chance that you are going to die. So, all that to say-- just do what the police tell you to do.
It may not seem like it, but I'm not trying to bash on cops. Number one, I don't feel like getting harassed for the rest of my life. Number two, I know their jobs are stressful and they have to deal with a lot of BS. I was even arrested once (a story for another blog post,) and the cop that I dealt with was actually pretty cool. I just wish that cops wouldn't always stick together and support the few among them that are doing wrong.
Like, I can't remember the exact statistic, but in most departments there are a couple of officers who get complaint after complaint, and most officers get one or none. But those officers with multiple complaints against them are allowed to keep their jobs, in no small part due to the police unions that for some reason think those people shouldn't be fired.
I'm speaking directly to cops right now: Those "bad apples" are giving your profession a bad name, and everyone would be better off if they weren't part of your organization. Forget this code of silence crap, and listen to your conscience. You probably got into this profession to help people, but it can be hard to do that when some of your co-workers are unjustifiably abusing and killing others. Being able to legally kill people is a privilege, and it would make sense to me that you would want people that are given that privilege to be held to very high standards.
Ok, I'm not talking to the cops anymore. As a citizen of the United States, it should be reasonable to assume that the people that swear to protect and serve you will do just that. You shouldn't have to worry that your physical size, your skin color or anything else is going to cause them to take an action against you that has fatal consequences. If Randall Kerrick is actually guilty of this crime, I hope that he receives a serious and significant punishment, and that police officers across the country will applaud the verdict as a sign that the community (cops included,) will not just stand idly by and allow things like this to happen.
So, that's what I think. Feel free to tell me what you think in the comments.
Hello, I'm the mastermind behind myblackfriendsays.com. I am a 35 year-old black woman with a Masters degree in Multicultural Counseling, an (expired) Mensa membership card, and a freakishly large knowledge of all things pop culture.
I started this blog because I love talking about race and inequality, and I bet more people would love talking about them too--if they weren't so afraid someone was going to punch them in the stomach for saying the wrong thing. This is a place to get people thinking, get people talking, and most importantly, to eventually get people doing things that will help us make real progress when it comes to the subjects of race and inequality in America.
If you would like to contact me for any reason (fan mail, hate mail, multimedia development deal,) you can email me: myblackfriend atmyblackfriendsaysdotcom.
Thanks for stopping by, and I hope to see you again soon.
